Fall is for Relaxing

       It's fall time!! Which that in itself is a reason to relax, right? I feel like the second a leaf turns orange on a tree, I find myself digging out my comfy socks and a big sweater whilst brewing coffee. Fall is my guiltless lazy month and I am more than happy with it. So let's talk relaxing. That word has come to be a sin in America. One should always be working harder, staying up later, studying more, getting that LAST thing done no matter how exhausted they are. We don't listen to our bodies because the world is telling us to never stop. "Hustle. Hustle. Hustle" has become the newest trend. The media isn't encouraging you to take a nap, or read a book for your enjoyment. So, I will. (u welcome) 

Life is rough, it is crazy and exhausting. But you never have so much going on that you can't take some time for you. 

1. Turn off your phone. Nothing is more distracting when you're trying to relax, than scrolling through Facebook looking at people doing more than you. So turn it off. Do you. 

2. Put on comfy clothes. Obviously don't be wearing jeans. Oh my goodness, no. We're trying to relax here, dangit, not subconsciously feel the love handles.

3. Make tea or coffee. A warm cup of coffee resembles a hug and we can all agree on this. 

4. Listen to music or read a book. Sometimes I find my "relaxing" time still focused around what I should be doing. Read a completely unrelated book from school or work. One that you enjoy. REMEMBER YOUR PHONE IS OFF SO NO ONE CAN TEXT YOU SUBTLY TALKING ABOUT HOW MUCH THEY'RE STUDYING.

5. Finally, spend some time with Jesus. Life can get so overwhelming and I find myself immediately trying to do it all on my own. Every little thing, I quickly grasp with my hands and try to fit it in MY schedule. This usually results in a stress-cry and the realization that I was never meant to do this on my own. "The Lord will fight for you. You only need to be still."

So, be still. Give it to God. Relax for a little bit today. Even 30 minutes to yourself, completely undistracted, can change things. This life is doable once you realize how uncool it is to actually "hustle so hard" that you lose a little piece of who you are. 

Like I said, it's fall. A month of forced relaxation and cuddles. Calories don't even count this season!! Take some time for you each day. Enjoy, lovelies <3 

Something so Beautiful

   
    There's something so beautiful to me about someone being whole heartedly themselves. Something so beautiful about someone being silly they're so happy. Something beautiful about someone being proud of themselves for something they've accomplished. To see someone run up to another in order to tell them good news about themselves is stunning. There's something so breathtaking about a woman who walks into a room with a smile and glow in her eyes because she isn't one bit worried about another's opinion of her. Something so beautiful seeing two friends laugh until they cry in public. There wasn't one friend saying, "Stop. People are looking." Something so beautiful about a man being proud of his girl. Something so beautiful about a man spending more time talking about his girl than himself. Something so beautiful about someone praising another's accomplishments, even when they are the competition.


     However, our culture has this all wrong. When someone is so happy that they're silly, they're psycho. When someone is excited for their accomplishments, they're conceited. When a woman walks into a room with confidence, she is immediately arrogant. When two friends are laughing in public, people are thinking, "Pull it together." When a man talks more about his girl than himself, he is whipped.

Why do we do this? Why is this the culture we live in?

     There is something so earth shattering to me seeing someone wholly happy, but receive the wrong look from another and watching their smile fade with embarrassment. Something so earth shattering seeing a girl walk into a new room full of beautiful girls and instantly feel inferior. It's heartbreaking to see someone telling another of their success, only to be told by the other what THEY have done. To belittle someone to make you feel worthy is disgusting. To make someone feel wrong for being happy is revolting. To not let someone have their moment because you haven't had yours is sickening.

     Take a minute to watch someone's eyes when they are talking about something they love. Take a minute to watch the reaction of someone when you give them a compliment instead of waiting for one in return. Turn the camera around on someone else today and capitalize their beauty and talents.

Life is so beautiful. Let people live theirs freely.

The Thief of Comparison

     As you can tell, I post most on body confidence. I find that this is where I am most vulnerable, but also most strong. I have found that the view of my body can ruin or propel my productivity. I have found that comparison is the largest trap, that I sometimes don't even plan on wandering in to.

     Today, I wanted to write about overcoming comparison. I write in my personal journal whenever I feel down, and I use that time, to build myself up. After writing for my own eyes, I wanted to share it with you. I believe that vulnerability is the most beautiful thing about someone, because everyone puts on their masks each day. 

     I originally wanted to use my journal as a template for writing this post on comparison. However, as I typed, I found myself scratching out the sentences where I appeared too distressed. I found myself attempting to ice over something that many women struggle with. 

     So I decided to give you my journal entry. An entry that is raw and 100% how I feel and what I struggle with. An entry that shows how I  build myself up when I am down. I hope this helps many women see that they are not alone and are breathtakingly beautiful.

7-16-16

"I've been struggling with comparison still. I know my body isn't how it used to be, but that doesn't mean it isn't absolutely beautiful. Stunning!- A carefully made work of art. Each curve, bump, and scar is unique and flawless. Why have we been taught that a size over 4 is too big?Why do we cringe when we reach for a large top or bottom? Why have we been taught to grab at our hips in disgust? When did it become wrong to not be stick thin or rippling with muscles? When did the true body of a woman become something we fight endlessly against? Why on earth are these thoughts and feelings put into our heads?

I am stunning.

I buy clothes that compliment my personal body type. The size of those clothes do not matter. How well they flatter your specific, incredible, unique body matters.

A pose that one girl looks great doing, may not flatter your body. Just as a pose that shows off your beauty, may not work for them.

I look at how stunning one woman is, and another. Yet, realize that the two look absolutely NOTHING alike. One is blonde, plump lips, skinny body, and a button nose. While the other is a brunette with a healthy fit body, strong legs, and a freckled face. She doesn't have a stomach as flat as the blonde, but I have found myself comparing myself to BOTH, when neither resembles the other whatsoever.

This goes to show that beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. There is no "one" universally beautiful girl. Just like waves crashing on the shore is a beautiful sight, so are christmas lights at night. Yet the two are absolutely nothing alike. Someone else's beauty does not diminish yours. Just because one girl's smile is stunning, does not mean yours isn't.

Freckles are breathtaking and enviable, yet most girls with freckles are quick to cover them up with foundation and self hate.

Strong legs are enviable and desired, yet those same girls are googling ways to shrink themselves.

I once was at the gym on the treadmill. I was doing sprint intervals because sprints increases leg mass, rather than long distance running. A girl got on the treadmill right next to me. She was wearing spandex and her legs were so toned and gorgeous! TOTAL CARRIE UNDERWOOD LEGS. However, when I went to fill my water bottle up, I overheard her telling her friend how badly she wants to get rid of "these" while grabbing her thighs.

No woman is satisfied with themselves. It's how we are. In a good way, it helps us improve. However, just remember while you are wishing and working to look like some one else, another girl out there is admiring your beauty and is jealous of you. 

Don't waste time in the comparison trap.

Your life, your body, your beauty is so enviable! AND IT IS ALREADY YOURS. So go live- gratefully and confidently. 

#YouAreWorthy"

The Generation of Lonely

If one were to explain this generation by their actions, many ideas would come to mind: The Party Generation, The Narcissists, Sex-obsessed, or Spoiled. Each log in on social media, follows a log off with envy. We subconsciously are comparing ourselves to the lives of others. The media has suffocated us with the idea that we are missing out on life if we aren't drunk at least 3 nights of the week. You're missing out if you aren't sleeping around while you still can. The only way to achieve happiness is through wealth, success, and endless attention. However, if you haven't noticed, some of the most lonely people in the world have gained all those things. The same pop culture that tells you how to be happy, also has substantial suicides, drug abuse, and divorce. Why? They are so lonely. 

Our generation drowns themselves in alcohol, drugs, sex, etc. due to the underlying terror of being alone. Our generation has grown up in a time where the media targets our biggest insecurities in order for their industry to thrive. Depressed? Alcohol. Lonely? Sex. Stressed? Drugs. Insecure? Lose weight. Everything we have access to is to distract us from the feeling of loneliness that we mustn't ever accept, right? 

But what happens when your high crashes or your partner for the night leaves? The media never tells that side of the story: The Lonely. We are all so incredibly lonely. We look for anything to fill the holes. The more God is silenced, the more lonely we feel. 

Do you ever wonder what we, as humans, were made for? If you say companionship, you're right. In fact, the media is not wrong with their portrayal of happiness as a group of friends laughing. However, our main relationship was meant to be with God. God wired us for community and connection, yes, but if we aren't careful, we make the mistake of placing our happiness in friends or a significant other. We were created for a relationship with God, above all else. 

"...The Lord your God goes with you; 

He will never leave you nor forsake you.”

We were never ever created to be lonely. God says over and over, "I am with you." He says He will never leave us, nor forsake us. Everything in this world is fleeting, and will constantly leave us wanting more. Not God. He knows our every need. If we would simply spend time with Him instead of googling our struggles, we could actually feel whole and complete.

I hear too many times, "No one understands me", or "You just won't understand". Although we all struggle with loneliness differently, Jesus knows exactly what it's like to be alone. In His scariest, most vulnerable moments, his friends neglected Him. His closest friends pretended they had know idea who He even was. Amidst the worst hours of His life, His own father had to turn His back because he couldn't bear to see the sins (OURS) His son had taken upon Him. 

Jesus knows what it's like to be alone. Go to Him. Believe in Him. Not the world. 

The world is so, so lonely.

Photography: Amberlee Fletcher; "Lilac Lens Photography"

Not Everyone is Going to Like You

"Not everyone is going to like you."

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We hear it all the time, but do we actually understand? Are we actually seeing how incredibly positive and freeing that reality is?

Our society has become so obsessed with pleasing others that it has subconsciously become a character trait in many of us. We post our best images and statuses in order for others to think highly of us. We learn which posts receive the most likes and we post more in that category, even if it isn't exactly what we'd prefer. IN FACT, if a certain post doesn't get a double digit number of likes, we delete it and wonder why no one else shared the same outlook. How sad is that?

It's only human to want to be respected and loved. As a human, we want little to no enemies and behave accordingly until we essentially lose who we are.

Since when did it become wrong to do what you wanted to do?  Since when did one person's negative opinion stop you from being yourself? Stop letting others dictate your actions. Stop pouring milk in someone else's cereal. For crying out loud, goodness gracious, be yourself!

Say what you want to say. Do what you feel. Wear what you want to wear.

If you're silly and a little crazy because you are simply in a good mood- be that.

If you are labeled "nerdy" because you like Star Wars and interesting facts- be that.

If you are labeled "fake" because you like to wear makeup and style your hair- be that.

If you are labeled "fat" because you are eating a donut- eat that person while you're at it. Jerk.

 So many of us miss out on opportunities because we are overly worried about what other's think. Within all of us, there are multiple things we have a passion for. There are many dreams we really really desire to follow, but don't, to spare the opinions of others.

- Traveling the earth has people admiring you or talking about how you should be at home working.

- Starting a business you've always dreamt of has people inspired or laughing at you, saying that you are wasting money.

- Posting blogs/ vlogs has people entertained or scoffing at how narcissistic you are. (Love that one)

Bottom line: Not everyone is going to like you. It wasn't meant to be that way. Personalities clash. People like different things. Do you know one person loved by everyone? Do you know one famous person who doesn't have an equal following of "haters"?

Historically speaking, the most loved and inspirational individuals were also the most hated. Jesus, Abraham Lincoln, etc. They did what they were placed on this earth to do, no matter the consequences or opinions of others.

Why aren't we?

To the Girls Who..

To the girls who are starving themselves,

To the girls who are seeing something very wrong in their reflection,

To the girls who are thinking that if they could just be 10 pounds lighter they'll be happy,

To the girls who feel like their friends will finally accept them if they're thinner,

To the girls who believe the boys will find you beautiful if you are skinny,

Stop.

You are enough.

The idea you have in your mind that being skinny and thin will bring happiness, success and opportunities, is disgusting and wrong. Skinny is only skinny. If there are people in your life that are making you feel self conscious about your appearance or your body, run. Run from them. They are not worth your skipped meals, your mirror-inducing tears, and they are especially not worth your time and energy. 

You are so beautiful, exactly the way you are. The clothes that you feel confident in should not be thrown away because they aren't a single digit number or the ideal "0". The makeup that makes you feel pretty should not induce self-doubt because your "friends" say you look like you're trying too hard. That part of your stomach or hip you can grab? That is called skin. That is called your beautifully, sculpted body. It is supposed to be there. Just because it appears differently on photoshopped models, does not mean you are ugly. 

The world tells you that you will only receive a decent life if you're skinnier, prettier, or smarter. You will not. You will never have more of a life than God has already planned for you to have, so why on earth are you wasting your time worrying about a silly pound to impress someone other than God, who is already astonished by your beauty.

We are daughters of a King- A KING! That means we are princesses. Disney's portrayal of princesses is actually correct. Princesses are beautiful, strong, brave, and breathtaking. Were any of those descriptions about weight or appearance? They may be portrayed as such, but they are all seen on the inside. You should never define yourself by the inches of your waist or wallow in self pity when you eat a calorie or 7.

You are enough. 

You will never be more enough than you are right now.

Your life begins when you stop caring about what other's think, expect, or want from you. Be yourself. All of you. Stop believing what the world tells you is beautiful. 

Your body hears everything your mind says. Say nice things. 

You are enough. Go live.  

Helpful Hints: Motivation

     It's that time again. I have no other excuses to put off working out. The Christmas cheer has passed (that lasted me until now- April 14th) and Summer is right around the corner. The stores are filling with bathing suits and thinning on oversized sweaters. For those of you who don't know, oversized sweaters are a lazy workout girl's best friend and I am sad that the season has vanished.

     However, there is this lovely thing called motivation and although it is buried 372004829 feet under the ground...it can be found! Here are some tips that help be get going:

1) Coffee
     Guys. I don't know what it is about this liquid, but it is miraculous and definitely helps give me a push in the morning.

2) Wake up early
     I know this doesn't sound pleasant, but waking up early gives you more time in the day and you can't have the excuse of "I didn't' have time." 
    (Which I still use even after hours of watching TV- "I just didn't have time to work out today. Dang.")

3) Inspiration
     BE REASONABLE HERE. Don't immediately google Beyonce and expect yourself to look like her after two days of working out. You will not and it is extremely disappointing, trust me. Find inspiration in people similar to you who are making progress and strive to be better than you were yesterday. (I made that line up)

4) Music
    Nothing is more motivating for me during a workout than listening to music. Hearing the sound of my dying breaths while I run is haunting and mildly concerning. Therefore, I blast my music. Shameless Demi Lovato playlist on repeat. Yes, that includes the Camp Rock soundtrack duh.

5) Burn the negative thoughts
   There is nothing more destructive than your own mind. I can talk myself in or out of something faster than lightning. The first thought I have during a run is, "Yes! What a beautiful day for a run!" Then, "This sucks. This is so terrible. I don't even like moving."  
    Monitor your thoughts. Don't even let your mind finish the negative thought. It will make life 45600 times better all around. 


What I'm Wearing
1) Sports bra: Target
2) Cropped leggings: Target
3) Jacket: Nike






 

What Changed When I Cut My Hair

   
      I have done many regretful things with good intentions in my life, but cutting my hair is number one. I thought cutting my thick, long, healthy, wonderful, flowing..sry. I thought that cutting my hair would make my life easier, lead to quicker mornings, and be a nice change. Bless my heart. 

    It made my life harder, lead to longer mornings because I had no idea what to do with this inch of hair on my head, and it was far from a "nice" change. I went from the confidence of Kanye West to feeling like a pinto bean in one "snip" at the hair salon.

So what did change? What did I learn from my hair cut experience?

1) I hate myself.
    I am the worst.

2) I now know why all the Disney princesses have long hair.
    Besides Snow White...who was basically depressed all the time and sleeping- Probably because she had long hair and cut it.

3) You will not leave the hair salon looking or feeling like the picture of Jessica Alba you took in.
     Why do I always think that if I bring in a picture of a celebrity's hair, that my face will change into theirs as well?

4) I don't make fun of people with extensions anymore.
    Envy. Envy is what I have now because you can afford them and you are blending them so well. 

5) Too much of my identity lies in my dead skin cells.
     Ew.

5 Things a Girl on a Budget Understands

Let me just start this off buy saying, (hehe, get it "buy" saying...because we're talking about money...*winks*)

...Let me just start this off by saying MONEY DOES BUY HAPPINESS BECAUSE MONEY CAN BUY COFFEE AND SHOES, so don't tell me that I can be happy without money because I cannot be.

Anyways, to the girl on a budget, I understand you and I give you hugs. This is not easy and I get that, but we can do this. We will be fine. Everything is okay. All is well. Trigger the fake smile and tears streaming down my face.

Shall we introduce ourselves? Who are we? What is life like?

How do you really know if you're money constricted?

5 proven poor people actions: 

1) You see a cute shirt at Urban Outfitters. You picture yourself wearing said shirt because it is GORGEOUS. You already see Zac Efron approaching you saying, "Wow. I have never seen a shirt look so good." But upon viewing price tag, all of a sudden that becomes the world's most hideous shirt.

2) When shopping, you pick out two or three things. Stand in the 20 minute line while telling yourself it is a good purchase and you deserve to treat yourself. But when you are next to check out, it happens: The clothes go back on the rack and you exit the store.

3) You are starving- actually meal deprived, but you would rather spend your money on clothes than something you will poop out later.

4) You've googled "Free things to do for fun" more than you're willing to admit. This only results in nothing to do unless you want to make a craft or "Run a 5k" (That suggestion always appears on lists of free fun, which is insulting because "fun" is the keyword here, not death).

5) Goodwill is your ride or die. It is your paradise. It is your bliss. It is your kingdom come. Goodwill has been there for you when humans haven't, and that is okay.

A Park and a Popsicle

     I'm not gonna lie, I've got a pretty good job. When I drive in to work, I drive to a wonderful home filled with love from an amazing family: Two sweet girls, a puppy, and their cherished big brother who truly have superheroes for a mom and dad. Cut out that sparkling family from "The Children's Place" ad and that's who I get to be a nanny for! Sure they have their fair share of life's ups and downs, but I got lucky with this one.

     Most people don't wake up on a Friday excited to go to work, BUT THIS GIRL DID - after her coffee, that is, because everything is bad before that. I had Nora-Jane all to myself today, so we decided to go exploring! We went to the 12th South area downtown and zoomed to the nearest playground. By zoomed, I mean we stopped every half step to pick a flower, twirl around, and collect shiny diamonds (gravel). But once we finally made it and were in the midst of our swinging fun, my eye caught a glimpse of something so beautiful I couldn't break eye contact. Just mere steps from where I was standing the most wonderful sight stood still- A Popsicle Shop.

   That's right. An entire shop completely dedicated to the sugary goodness of popsicles. An entire shop dedicated to making me happy and warm. So many flavors. So many soon-to-be good moods upon ingestion. It took two seconds for me to realize where I truly belonged at that moment: Las Paletas.

 Once we got "so high we could touch the sky" on the swings, we made our way to Las Paletas and ordered two strawberry creme popsicles. Nora- Jane orders ice cream and popsicles based on their color. Luckily, pink is usually a strawberry flavor and that settles well with her (and me...and my hips).



Blog summary: Today was good. Popsicles are good. My job is good. My heart is full.

Who Even is this Chick?

     First dates are always awkward. There is a hyperawareness of your entire body which results in voice cracks, sweaty upper lips, and lots of "pity giggles". You're not yourself at all, which is a bummer because that is exactly what you are attempting to portray for this lovely person who has taken you out. So let's make our first date together go as smooth as possible. In fact, I'll make it easy for you. I'll do all the talking! You don't even have to respond with facial expressions or that understanding head nod moms at Panera do when they agree. Just sit there. Just read. Just meet me.

     Hi! My name is Hannah Neese and I am a college student who has had her fair share of struggles and triumphs. I've faced my giants and conquered them. Well, I may have cried, crawled, thrown a fit or seven..but I have conquered them with the help of two very important things in my life: Coffee & Grace. I have made my hardest decisions behind a coffee cup and a Bible. I have been calmed in the middle of a storm by a latte and a verse. 

     I decided to start this blog to not only relay to others the wonderful blessings of caffeine and Jesus, but to show others that you are not alone on this journey of figuring life out. I will be sharing my life experiences, comforting words I find through devotionals, and plenty of embarrassing moments I involuntarily partake in to make you feel better about yourself. 

     Life is weird. It's messy. So leave some lipstick on your mug, a highlighted verse in your Bible, and start conquering your giants.

Feedback

Even though I said I would do all the talking to keep things comfortable for you, I want to hear what you have to say now and later! So leave comments- ideas, topics, your own struggles. Tell me where I can buy a whole outfit under $30. Anything! I want to hear from you, too.

Contact: hannahneese1@gmail.com 

Instagram: hannah_neese