The Thief of Comparison

     As you can tell, I post most on body confidence. I find that this is where I am most vulnerable, but also most strong. I have found that the view of my body can ruin or propel my productivity. I have found that comparison is the largest trap, that I sometimes don't even plan on wandering in to.

     Today, I wanted to write about overcoming comparison. I write in my personal journal whenever I feel down, and I use that time, to build myself up. After writing for my own eyes, I wanted to share it with you. I believe that vulnerability is the most beautiful thing about someone, because everyone puts on their masks each day. 

     I originally wanted to use my journal as a template for writing this post on comparison. However, as I typed, I found myself scratching out the sentences where I appeared too distressed. I found myself attempting to ice over something that many women struggle with. 

     So I decided to give you my journal entry. An entry that is raw and 100% how I feel and what I struggle with. An entry that shows how I  build myself up when I am down. I hope this helps many women see that they are not alone and are breathtakingly beautiful.

7-16-16

"I've been struggling with comparison still. I know my body isn't how it used to be, but that doesn't mean it isn't absolutely beautiful. Stunning!- A carefully made work of art. Each curve, bump, and scar is unique and flawless. Why have we been taught that a size over 4 is too big?Why do we cringe when we reach for a large top or bottom? Why have we been taught to grab at our hips in disgust? When did it become wrong to not be stick thin or rippling with muscles? When did the true body of a woman become something we fight endlessly against? Why on earth are these thoughts and feelings put into our heads?

I am stunning.

I buy clothes that compliment my personal body type. The size of those clothes do not matter. How well they flatter your specific, incredible, unique body matters.

A pose that one girl looks great doing, may not flatter your body. Just as a pose that shows off your beauty, may not work for them.

I look at how stunning one woman is, and another. Yet, realize that the two look absolutely NOTHING alike. One is blonde, plump lips, skinny body, and a button nose. While the other is a brunette with a healthy fit body, strong legs, and a freckled face. She doesn't have a stomach as flat as the blonde, but I have found myself comparing myself to BOTH, when neither resembles the other whatsoever.

This goes to show that beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. There is no "one" universally beautiful girl. Just like waves crashing on the shore is a beautiful sight, so are christmas lights at night. Yet the two are absolutely nothing alike. Someone else's beauty does not diminish yours. Just because one girl's smile is stunning, does not mean yours isn't.

Freckles are breathtaking and enviable, yet most girls with freckles are quick to cover them up with foundation and self hate.

Strong legs are enviable and desired, yet those same girls are googling ways to shrink themselves.

I once was at the gym on the treadmill. I was doing sprint intervals because sprints increases leg mass, rather than long distance running. A girl got on the treadmill right next to me. She was wearing spandex and her legs were so toned and gorgeous! TOTAL CARRIE UNDERWOOD LEGS. However, when I went to fill my water bottle up, I overheard her telling her friend how badly she wants to get rid of "these" while grabbing her thighs.

No woman is satisfied with themselves. It's how we are. In a good way, it helps us improve. However, just remember while you are wishing and working to look like some one else, another girl out there is admiring your beauty and is jealous of you. 

Don't waste time in the comparison trap.

Your life, your body, your beauty is so enviable! AND IT IS ALREADY YOURS. So go live- gratefully and confidently. 

#YouAreWorthy"

How to Survive the Dressing Room

The dressing room is a terrible place to be, let's just be honest. The lighting is horrifying, unless you're in Victoria's Secret because somehow that lighting really does make you look like an angel. Most dressing rooms, however, are lit with a terrible fluorescent glow that magnifies all of our problem areas. AND HOW DARE THERE BE A MIRROR WHERE YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF FROM EVERY ANGLE?! WHO INVENTED THIS?!

Anyways, the dressing room can be a stressing room if you aren't careful. So how do I survive the dressing room?

1. I try to avoid it at all costs.
     If I know an article of clothing is not going to work for me, I do not lie to myself and say that it will to only get horrified in the dressing room. I simply put the skin tight tank back on the rack, and run away.

2. Continue to tell yourself it's the lighting.
    "Wow, I really didn't think this top would look this bad on me." "Oh yeah, wait, it's just the lighting." It is always the lighting, ok?

3. Take in more than one size of the article of clothing.
     This may sound like a no brainer, but I rarely do this and I just end up leaving the store because I'm sad the one size didn't fit. The next size will ladies, and you will look great in it and leave happy. It's just a number.

4. Take pictures and send to your best friends for advice.
     If they are real friends, they'll reassure you that you look fine and normally it will go like this: "Oh my gosh!!!! You look so good in that! YAS buy it now!"  Then buy it and go hug them. Everyone needs a hug after the dressing room experience.

5. Never go shopping if you are on a time crunch.
    If you are planning to enter the dressing room, do not do so during a lunch break or a quick shopping run. A mental breakdown will ensue and you will be depressed for the rest of the day and hungry because you didn't eat during your lunch break, so.

6. IT'S ALWAYS THE CLOTHES FAULT.
     Last but not least, it is never your fault. Duh. Always blame the clothes. When the lady at the desk asks, "Did those work for you?" Simply respond with, "I'm sorry  but these clothes were not adequate enough for my incredible figure and sensational personality." 

Clothes. What even are they?

   

End it.

For some time now, my heart has been very heavy for the women and children being trafficked in and outside of this country. I hate how hushed of a topic this reality is. Everyone knows about Daniel's white Vans, but few are aware of what all is happening with sex trafficking. It is far, far too common and it shocks me how little is known. I believe it is so hard for people to accept that something so disgusting is happening right in front of our eyes, that we simply don't think about it. We don't want to imagine what each woman or child is going through, because that mental picture is honestly horrific. But it is happening and more attention needs to be brought to it.

I have wanted to be a part of something to stop this. We ended slavery in this country! For crying out loud, we can end sex slavery in our lifetime as well.

A period symbolizes the absolute end of something. 

When history is made, articles, headlines and stories spread like wildfire. At the end of each article, at the end of each history book, at the end of every written accomplishment is a period. Meaning, it is over. The End.

Due to my desire to help put an end to sex trafficking, I have created pieces of jewelry to sell in order to raise money for this cause. Each item has a golden circle (period)  to signify the end: The end of sex trafficking. Wear it proudly! When people ask, "What's the circle for?" TELL THEM. Bringing awareness is the largest step in ending trafficking.

All money raised will be donated to Together1Heart. This organization supports survivors and soon to be survivors by meeting the simplest need of each human, "love with no conditions". They rescue, rehabilitate and regenerate. Their mission is incredible and I am more than happy to be donating any money raised to an organization such as this.

Message me for details on purchasing! Each $5

Neese.hannah@yahoo.com

Stop Hating Your Body

Personal Time: I've struggled with body confidence for so long it's embarrassing. I have hinted at my struggles within past blogs, but I decided to dedicate a whole blog to the issue. Who knows? If it can help even one and a half of you feel better, ya girl is happy.

It all started in the summer of 9th grade when I realized that guys liked girls who were thin and or fit. For the first time, I thought that the reason I never had a boyfriend was because my body wasn't ideal. (MIND YOU, I WAS ONLY 115 POUNDS AT THIS TIME. SO SILLY.) That summer, I began spending hours on the internet looking at images of thin and fit women. That summer, I cut my daily caloric intake to 1200 calories. I was flooded with guilt after eating a freaking muffin. A MUFFIN. That summer, I turned down hanging out with my friends so that I could just get one more workout in. I began measuring my waist, hips, and bust, simply to make sure I was shrinking. I began measuring my self worth on the size of my waist.

Funny thing is? I was never ever satisfied. I never began resembling the girls I was striving to look like on a tumblr "Fitspo" page. Why? My body, my bones, my curves, my entire structure was created differently. The thinner I got, the worse I actually looked. I wasn't proportional. More importantly? I was unhappy.

One day, I simply quit. Sad thing? That one day was 6 months ago. Five years I spent living with a striving heart. A striving heart is someone who is so focused on their own goals, that they have no time to give to others. No time to simply sit down, listen to others, and offer support. I love helping others, but I struggled with putting my whole heart into a situation because "there was always something I could be doing to better myself."


TURNS OUT IT'S OKAY TO GO UP A SIZE IN YOUR  CLOTHES. Turns out, you don't die. Turns out, you lose absolutely no friends. Turns out, not a soul notices or cares. Turns out, you become more beautiful when you accept yourself.

Accept who you are. 

Once I accepted the face that I will never be Candice Swanepoel and began loving myself, everything changed. I found out what I really enjoyed: my personal interests and hobbies. I began looking at the things I loved about myself in the mirror instead of the 933984302 things I could find wrong. I began to realize that not everyone is going to like the things that I like and that's okay.

Open your eyes to the passions that God has placed in you, and run with them. Stop putting your life on hold to have a certain appearance to the world. God gave us dreams, desires, and talents, why waste them trying to achieve someone else's?

The Generation of Lonely

If one were to explain this generation by their actions, many ideas would come to mind: The Party Generation, The Narcissists, Sex-obsessed, or Spoiled. Each log in on social media, follows a log off with envy. We subconsciously are comparing ourselves to the lives of others. The media has suffocated us with the idea that we are missing out on life if we aren't drunk at least 3 nights of the week. You're missing out if you aren't sleeping around while you still can. The only way to achieve happiness is through wealth, success, and endless attention. However, if you haven't noticed, some of the most lonely people in the world have gained all those things. The same pop culture that tells you how to be happy, also has substantial suicides, drug abuse, and divorce. Why? They are so lonely. 

Our generation drowns themselves in alcohol, drugs, sex, etc. due to the underlying terror of being alone. Our generation has grown up in a time where the media targets our biggest insecurities in order for their industry to thrive. Depressed? Alcohol. Lonely? Sex. Stressed? Drugs. Insecure? Lose weight. Everything we have access to is to distract us from the feeling of loneliness that we mustn't ever accept, right? 

But what happens when your high crashes or your partner for the night leaves? The media never tells that side of the story: The Lonely. We are all so incredibly lonely. We look for anything to fill the holes. The more God is silenced, the more lonely we feel. 

Do you ever wonder what we, as humans, were made for? If you say companionship, you're right. In fact, the media is not wrong with their portrayal of happiness as a group of friends laughing. However, our main relationship was meant to be with God. God wired us for community and connection, yes, but if we aren't careful, we make the mistake of placing our happiness in friends or a significant other. We were created for a relationship with God, above all else. 

"...The Lord your God goes with you; 

He will never leave you nor forsake you.”

We were never ever created to be lonely. God says over and over, "I am with you." He says He will never leave us, nor forsake us. Everything in this world is fleeting, and will constantly leave us wanting more. Not God. He knows our every need. If we would simply spend time with Him instead of googling our struggles, we could actually feel whole and complete.

I hear too many times, "No one understands me", or "You just won't understand". Although we all struggle with loneliness differently, Jesus knows exactly what it's like to be alone. In His scariest, most vulnerable moments, his friends neglected Him. His closest friends pretended they had know idea who He even was. Amidst the worst hours of His life, His own father had to turn His back because he couldn't bear to see the sins (OURS) His son had taken upon Him. 

Jesus knows what it's like to be alone. Go to Him. Believe in Him. Not the world. 

The world is so, so lonely.

Photography: Amberlee Fletcher; "Lilac Lens Photography"

Summer Makeup: BEAT THE HEAT

What comes to mind when we hear the word Summer? Beaches, tans, smiles, etc. But what we look past is the brutal heat. You can look like Beyonce walking out of your house, but by the time you reach your car, the heat has attacked your makeup. At this point, you're lucky if you're resembling a decent looking clown.

Now for those of us who don't exactly look like Beyonce underneath the makeup, Summer is a rude makeup wipe that we didn't volunteer to use. So how do we beat this? How do we get away from blotting out face or reapplying the makeup every other hour? Less. Is. More.

However, wearing less makeup doesn't necessarily mean you have to look like you are wearing less makeup. Let me share with you some summer makeup tricks to keep your makeup lasting all day.

Face

- Instead of applying your regular foundation, opt for a tinted moisturizer! The foundation you used during the winter months will literally melt off your face in the summer. Therefore, moisturizers are your safest bet! They still have full coverage to even out the skin tone, yet they are of much lighter weight than a regular foundation. This lightweight option leaves your skin looking flawless without the worry of melting off.
- Plus: Tinted moisturizers have SPF, which is very important to protect from the summer sun.

Drugstore vs. High End

1) Sonia Kashuk Radiant: $14

2) Nars Tinted Moisturizer: $42

Blush: Trade the cream or powder blush for a cheek stain! The cream tends to melt/ smear, and the powder will settle in to fine lines the more you sweat. A cheek stain does what it says! It stains the cheek to give a natural flushed tint without the hassle of reapplying.

1) Benefit's Benetint Cheek and Lip Tint: $30

THIS IS THE MVP, I AM NOT EVEN GIVING YOU A DRUGSTORE OPTION.

Eyes

- If you are spending a majority of your Summer day outdoors, waterproof mascara is your safest bet against the heat and sweat. Normal mascara can leave smudges even when you blink due to it's different consistency than waterproof. 

- Again, if a majority of your day will be spent in heat, false lashes are a major "no-no". The glue will melt and the sweat will impede the lashes from sticking to your lids. WE ARE TRYING TO LOOK REAL BY BEING FAKE, SO NO ONE WANTS TO SEE THOSE LASHES POP OFF. HONEY, THE COVER IS BLOWN.

Drugstore vs. High End

1) Benefit They're Real! Waterproof: $12

2) Maybeline Falsies Waterproof: $5

Lips

- Find a good long lasting lip tint- these are everywhere! Lip tints are long lasting and don't dry your lips out like many other 24 hour lipsticks.  I personally am loving Revlon's Just Bitten Lip Tint. It's basically a marker for your lips. No gloss or cream, just a tint that will last through the heat!

1) Revlon Just Bitten Lip Tint: $6

No liners. No powders. No creams. Look for tints and waterproofs for long lasting summer makeup! Go get em ladies.

Gym Bag Essentials

Going to the gym is fun. By fun, I mean it's a horrific experience that requires any form of anything to motivate me. So what does this chick have in her gym bag to get her through? 

LET ME JUST TELL YOU!

1. Shoes

Turns out they are incredible helpful when running. Not only are the a necessity, but these specific Nike's are SO comfortable and not to mention cute. Cute gym clothes are always motivating, right?

 Asking for a friend.

2. Water

Honey, if you only knew how much I sweat during a workout, you would understand the need for my water consumption every two seconds. Not only that, but it's incredibly important to stay hydrated when and when you're not working out! SO MANY BENEFITS. I could talk for days on this, but I'll let you google it.

3. Secret Outlast Deodorant*

Since we are on the topic of my unnatural perspiration (sorry), I have to give a shout out to Secret Outlast, specifically. TALK ABOUT A HOLY GRAIL. I smell like a floral goddess the whole time I'm working out. I don't get pit stains or emotional stains from embarrassment. This stuff must have been created by Jesus himself. I highly recommend. 

4. Headphones

I mentioned in a previous post my hatred for the sound of my breath when working out. I sound like a dying pig rolling in burning rocks and it is horrific and extremely un-motivating. Therefore, I stay cranking the Mulan soundtrack and happily finish my workout.

5. Dry Shampoo

Did I tell you guys about how sweaty I get during a workout? Let me tell you: I get really sweaty. Which means my hair is plastered to my face upon finishing and it isn't one of my best looks. Therefore, if I have somewhere to be after or just want to appear more human- I spray some dry shampoo on my roots and I am good to go!

6. Lastly, up in the right hand corner of my gym bag essentials is a bag of tears

Self explanatory.

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